Deadpool was a very violent and graphic movie; though I found many of the scenes requisite to the character's development, these scenes and situations are hard for me because I am a survivor of domestic violence. I have not seen Selma, Twelve Years a Slave, nor many other movies because I struggle with handling violence in that capacity. I have even walked out of several movies because the violence was too much. I became really aware of my discomfort with violence through this stretch activity.
I was required to notice who was around me during the movie as I chose where to sit and how to react to scenes in the movie. Because of the small group viewing the movie, I wasn't as reactive in terms of laughter or fear because I would have been singled out; it is more comfortable to react to something when a larger group will reaffirm or mask my reaction. As I left I noticed a young boy of maybe ten had viewed the movie; had I known that child was in the movie with me, I may not have been able to sit through it. Knowing a young child was witnessing such a graphic movie would have bothered me and I would not have been able to appreciate or enjoy the movie.
I've learned that sometimes I will, as a researcher, be in very uncomfortable situations. I'll need to develop a set of skills to be sure that anyone I interview will feel comfortable with me; I cannot react with horror or withdraw when a focus group or interview detours into uncomfortable territory.
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